Chemo Brain

Did you know there is an actual medical condition called “Chemo Brain”? If you google it, you will find a good deal of information about this disorder that cancer patients and survivors describe. It’s one of the most troubling of the symptoms I have experienced. Many if not all of the symptoms of chemo brain are probably familiar to you, too, especially if you are over the age of 50. Add chemotherapy, and the intensity and frequency of episodes increases dramatically. I deal with the symptoms on a daily basis, but now and then, something happens that causes me to realize I must be more careful, like turning on the water to fill the kitchen sink, then getting distracted by some other task and forgetting the water is running. I’ve done it twice in the past week. Everyone has experienced walking into a room with a purpose and immediately forgetting what that purpose was. That happens a lot more as well. Not being able to articulate what I want to say happens more and more, too. My father deals with this on a daily basis, but he’s 84 years old. It seems to frustrate him more than any other condition that comes with being elderly, and I can understand why.

My emotions are far more unhinged than usual. At times one could describe them as non com·pos men·tis, not sane or in one’s right mind. The smallest thing can set me off. The pitch of my voice will suddenly rise, and John will calmly say, “Don’t yell, Kelly.” My patience, or rather lack thereof, is as unpredictable as a hurricane and just as volatile. Something as insignificant as having to repeat something I say instantly fills me with a smoldering rage, and too often it explodes in a tirade that makes Joan Collins in “Mommy Dearest” look like Mother Teresa. It’s a very good thing I’m not working right now because the potential for disaster would increase exponentially if I were dealing with the public at a Walmart store.

On the other hand, small successes can really make an impact, like my toast popping up at the same time my bacon is ready. How often does that happen?

In one of our early appointments, Dr. Joudeh suggested that meditation or Yoga might be good methods to try to help me with the effects and repercussions of chemo brain. Prayer, for me, is the best kind of meditation. The Bible says we should “pray without ceasing,” which has always meant to me that we should always be in a prayerful state of mind, something that is far more challenging for me now. I’ve never tried Yoga, so I am open to advice about its benefits and how to get started. I remember some 25 years ago or more when I attended a breast cancer support group meeting with my mom, the host taught a few meditation and relaxation techniques, one of which I still practice today. In the exercise, we were lying on our backs on the floor with our eyes closed. The host told us to silently instruct every part of our body beginning with our toes to relax. “Toes, relax…ankles, relax…knees, relax…legs, relax…” You get the idea. It really works, and you often don’t realize how tense your body is until you actually tell it to relax and it responds. If you have a relaxation technique that works for you, please share it. I’d love to give it a try.

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References:

• Mayo Clinic Staff. Chemo Brain. Mayo Clinic. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/chemo-brain/symptoms-causes/syc-20351060

• Griffin, R. Morgan. How to Manage Your Emotions During Chemotherapy. WebMD. https://www.webmd.com/cancer/features/manage-chemo-emotions