Numbers Update - Normal Range!

Just a quick post to update you on a few things, namely, that my numbers continue to be good. As you can see from my most recent labs, the problem monoclonal protein is now within the normal range, although Dr. Joudeh cautions me to remain patient. I have my first appointment at The Stephenson Cancer Center in OKC next month, so the ball is definitely rolling.

You may wonder how I'm doing with side effects. I feel very, very fortunate, for the most part. The worst side effect of all is my mental state – erratic emotions, fly-off-the-handle outbursts (yes, Kohlson, even more "psycho-mom" than usual). Don't know how much of that is drug-related or just the mental stress of it all. I feel like I should have more control

Second to that are the sleepless nights. I have always been able to drop off to sleep within minutes of my head hitting the pillow, but over the past few months, I find myself waking within a few hours, sometimes with some song playing in a virtual loop in my head. Ironically enough, last night it was Billy Joel's, "The River of Dreams." After an hour or so of fruitless effort to go back to sleep, I grab my iPad and play Whirly Word or work on a poem. Prayer, I find, is one of the most relaxing ways to fall asleep, but then I feel guilty for nodding off with God. I think He understands.

Yesterday I had my long infusion session with the Velcade injection and a 30-minute IV of Zometa for my bones. Along with the high-powered Revlimid capsule, nausea is today's complaint. I don't like to complain, but I figured you might wonder. I am also losing quite a bit of hair, but I am blessed with such a thick mane, I am the only one who really notices how much thinner it is, and, of course, I am the only one who sees the strands float away as I brush it or that lodge between my fingers when I run my hands through it. I believe I am going to be fortunate and not lose all of it, and for that I am thankful and always mindful of those who suffer that particular side effect.

To those of you who read and responded to my last post, thank you very much for your perspectives. I have responded to a few of you and am pondering my responses to a few more, so please be assured that when you take the time to write, I will always respond. I can't tell you how much the exchanges mean to me, especially when I am uplifted and moved to tears by what you say. They are "good" tears, believe me!

I have so much more in the pipeline, including some poems I have started and add a little to nearly every day. I have always loved poetry, both reading it and writing it. Good poetry is very challenging. It's more than putting together clever rhymes, which isn't easy in itself. It's syntax and rhythm and flow. I have been told that my writing is very formal with a focus on format, grammar and rules. I find that mildly amusing because it makes perfect sense. I have always lived my life with a certain formality that defines my values and attitudes. Tends to make me more critical than I should be, but also vulnerable to criticism, to which I am often overly sensitive.

In any case, I am going to share some poems I wrote in years past and hope to soon add some new ones. I hope you enjoy them.

Thanks again for dropping in and reading my blog. I treasure your friendships.

~ Kelly