Random Thoughts – Volume II

Warning: May not be suitable for men or the faint of heart

That's redundant, isn't it? By today’s standards, I suppose that's a very sexist remark to make, but this is my blog and I can say anything I want—hah! You men must admit that we women sometimes talk about things that you men would rather not hear about, and this post is probably one of those.

As you know, I’ve been thinking a lot about losing my hair. I’ve also thought many times about what I need to take with me to the hospital for the long stay, especially as the day draws ever closer. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve caught myself thinking, I need to remember my hairspray or my shampoo and conditioner. I guess I need only enough for the first week.

I was thinking about it this morning as I readied for a visit from a very dear, and very old—as in I’ve known her practically since I was born—friend. Part of my morning routine includes, among other things, plucking my eyebrows, all of them, including the stray ones that grow on my upper lip and chin.

Actually, if we’re honest about it, those are whiskers. The only difference is that some of them are stiff, white whiskers, and the most obnoxious ones are stiff, dark whiskers; but they are whiskers nonetheless.

Men, have I lost you yet?

Now, this particular part of my routine, morning or otherwise, takes about as long as it used to take for me to apply mascara, which I gave up a long time ago because my eyelashes are so thin. Yes, I’ve tried fake ones, but I can’t for the life of me get the hang of applying the darned things. I’ve tried the adhesive ones and the magnetic ones. I just don’t have what it takes, I guess. But I digress. Back to plucking. I begin with the pesky ones that are scattered randomly across my upper lip and in patches on my chin. Is it the same with you men?... if any are still reading, that is. Do you find that your beards grow thicker in certain places on your chin? On the lower right, for instance? That’s where a bothersome patch is for me. I can pluck them out in the morning, and by the evening of the same day, I can feel a few stubbly shoots. It’s positively vexing.

Why, you might ask, do I not use a depilatory cream of some kind? I’ll tell you why. There’s something very satisfying about pulling out each unwanted whisker. It’s like weeding a flowerbed. When you pull up that weed and manage to get all of its tangled roots, you know you got it all and it’s not coming back. Unfortunately, just like the whiskers on your chin, the weeds inevitably come back, sometimes in the same spot! Still, it’s satisfying every time you pull one out.

It’s satisfying, but it’s not something I look forward to, in spite of the way it may sound. In fact, when it comes to losing my hair, if the facial hair and whiskers go with it, good riddance! Even so, I know they’ll eventually come back. I just think that for the time it’s gone, I won’t miss that particular type of hair.

One last random thought for this volume…

As I proofed this post for publishing, I had to correct every occurrence of the word “men” because I had inadvertently typed “mean” every time. I wonder what Freud would say about that. ;-D